My Parenting Journey
I am Titilope Macfadden-Laja, I’m a medical doctor with a 4years plus son who is very strong willed, fun filled and highly active.
📌My parenting journey started as a busy doctor on posted to the paediatrics unit of the hospital.😅😅
I resumed back to work when my son was barely three months. My mother-in law (God bless her) and my son had to move in to the hospital with me where we spent most weekends and virtually all public holidays, so I barely had time for him. It improved though as I progressed in my career, but I was still very busy sleeping in and out of the hospital. As he grew, the little time I spent at home, I allowed my son too much screen time so I could have time for myself and also to do house chores. He was usually glued to the TV while on his feeding chair or bouncer.
I had always been passionate about parenting so everyone including my husband heard me use the word “Intentional Parenting”. It had always been a life goal for me to raise role models which would include mine and other children, I have the opportunity to reach.
📌Maybe because I was raised by my dad (shout out to my loving dad), at the time my parents were divorced. He tried his best to raise 5 of us who all turned out great (glory to God) but he got a lot of things wrong. Shout out to my mum, she’s a strong woman. But I’m most thankful for my oldest sister who took up the responsibility to raise herself and 4 of us. God bless her real good and reward her. The place of intentional parenting cannot be over-emphasized.
📌At the age of 3 when my son started school fully, his teachers complained so much about his lack of attention in class, how he would not sit still and would replicate everything he had watched especially from ”PJ Masks”, that was his best at the time. Those parents who know that cartoon know it involves a lot of movement, jumps and fights. I remember reaching out to Coach Zee, she had always been a friend though we were not in constant communication but she had checked on me a few times earlier in my parenting journey. She advised me to cut off screen time totally and then I could re-introduce it gradually. I tried but I wasn’t finding it easy as I still had to go to work and drop him off at the creche or with my husband or a friend whenever I was on call. Plus it was the easiest way I could keep him engaged when I needed me-time.
There’s so much to say but I’ll have to fast forward some phases. One of the best things that happened to me was when I attended Coach Zee’s course “Creating an atmosphere for learning”. It was highly expository, so much I didn’t know which I wished I had known before but after then I was better equipped. So I started implementing my new knowledge. Infact I had to re-take the course when it seemed like I had forgotten what I learnt because I didn’t start implementation on time.
I would advise every parent to take that course, I ensured my sister, a mother of 3 took the course too and her parenting journey never remained the same. I was also added to a What’s App group “Raising Book Lovers”, this community of people geared me on along with coach Zee who always been there to guide and exemplify intentional parenting. I was also added to “Train Up” FB community where I keep learning.
📌I got more toys, materials, puzzles, books for my son to engage him. My son now plays independently with his toys. He role plays, build things, loves reading, do outdoor games, learning to work with recycle materials and yes we still have screen time struggles which has not been easy, but he is doing far better. And of course he watches cartoons but with better guided time and selected channels.
📌My husband has also been well carried along in this journey so we are now on the same page with raising our son. I am learning to create routines and schedules for him and especially during the lockdown, it has not been very easy because I couldn’t get help from outside with my house chores but yes we manage it. We’ve been working around it. I ask for help when I need it with house chores and every other thing anyone can help me with.
📌Parenting is not an easy task but since I have come into it, I have chosen to be intentional with my parenting and to get better each day. I trust God daily, I pray about it because my strength and wisdom fails me. I engage other parents, attend webinars, read books, presently reading Coach Zee’s book “TrainUp” and I’m learning to instill discipline in my son and not just punish.
Every parent’s journey is unique and you might not have screen time struggles like I do, it might be something else, but whatever it is and at whatever time one realises that there is a struggle and a need to do better, just reach out for help.
There are people who know better we can always learn from, have a community which encourages you and pray for you and your children. Also let’s learn to engage them more. I told myself that my son is more important to me than my work and so I will go the extra mile to be there for and with him. Especially now that I realize how fast they grow and how we will not be able to regain the lost time. Mine will be 5 years in 3months and I’m wondering where all the time went. In this age with all that is going around, I’ve chosen to invest positively in him as I know I will only reap what I sow.
🙏I declare that my son is taught of God and great is my peace. He is smart, wise and engaging, highly independent, self reliant, loving, respectful and always willing to share.
🎀There’s so much to say but I will have to stop here. Thank you Coach Zee for this opportunity to share my parenting journey and thank you much more for all you do for me and us all. Our world would be a better place because we will raise these great ones..
@t.macfadden on IG
Titilope Macfadden on FB